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Fictional COW is
here because the guys at COW have been so busy, and because some of the people
here at COW-Wrestling.com are either pretty creative or bored out of their
minds. I would like to think imaginative is the word to describe them.
Remember people this is all fictional.
Welcome to the latest Issue of F-COW. Finally we are
allowed to publish our work.
On with the evening. Because we have quite a night in store
for all of you.
For the first time, F-COW is being held on a Friday night, and
not a weekend, why, because we want it to be.
Before any of the action is set to take place, we will first
hear from Political Steve our Lovely COWmissioner.
"Good Evening, We have all sorts of good action in store for all of you
fans tonight. We have a new COW Heavyweight Champion. We have a new HardKore
Champion as we have stripped the title from Ozz. We have New Tag Team
Champions, and we have matches for all of those titles and More. F-COW has
come to be a staple in COW, and we are looking forward to a great show, so
lets get on with it already."
Well Ladies and Gentlemen, that was our Lovely COWmissioner,
Political Steve. We all know how much he tried to keep us from being
published, I think he just was saying that because of all of the protest
letters he was recieving about F-COW, because so many people were looking
forward to it being published then come to find out that it was being held
back, because of the intern COWmissioner and then P.S. when he returned to the
job.
"With the threat of Political Steve interfering in any
match tonight, he will spend the night in a straight Jacket (so that he can
not throw anything into the ring) suspended above the squared circle in a
chained link cage," the Big Heads decision booms across the loud
speakers.
"What no, you cant do this to me, I have no intention of interfering, I
dont care about any of these matches, hey you all know I dont want the COW
title right now (*wink), hey let me go," Political Steve is shouting as
he is being put into the cage.
A mix of emotion runs through the crowds as he is hoisted to the rafters of
the Danford Arena. Political Steve then shouts his mouth off to the ring
announcer, and then promises that whom ever is behind this will pay.
Now let us resume with the action, making his way to the ring
is a pretty pissed off Ozz. Ozz was stripped of the HardKore Title, because
Political Steve doesnt like him. Ozz will take on a mystery opponent this
evening. Who could it be.....(The lights are out in the arena). The
blacklights start to flash and the music starts to play, it sounds like it
is.......Oh my, how could they have set a match up like this, this man
is going to get wasted by Ozz.....wait a minute there are two of them what
the, its Bobby Zoolander, and Maximillion Johnston III.
How these two ever got teamed together is beyond me...Hey look up there,
Political Steve is laughing his head off. Hey techy turn the lights back on.
They are beating the snot out of Ozz, right hands and feet flying everywhere
from what I can tell. Why cant you turn the lights back on people? Wait a
minute, Ozz was just lifted up in the air, and bam, power-slammed down to the
mat. Ozz against two might not have a chance, this man is tough, but
gees....and this was all set up via the evil mind of our COW-missioner.
Come on now, I see brass knuckles...Finally the lights are back on.....Oh come
on, look man he is all cut up, those brass knuckles must have had spikes on
them or something. 2 on 1 isnt very fair. Hey P.S. I think you should have to
fight in a 2 on 1 match.....you being the one. M.J. III picks up Ozz, places
him on his shoulders, B.Z. climbs to the top of the guard fencing and he leaps
and hits Ozz right in the collar bone. Now M.J. III is running and oooofff.......Ozz
was just slammed ribs first into the fencing. Man alive, this match is making
me sick. Wait a minute, wait look up the ramp, its, Hurricane. Whoa that dude
can haul a$s. And a clothesline right to the left temple of B.Z. And B.Z.
hits the floor hard. M.J. III now turns his attention to Hurricane, and they
are now grappling. The ref now counting as two of the three wrestlers are down
and out, 3,4,5,6, there is some life in Ozz, and B.Z. they are slowly moving
around, (Hurricane must have had a 'padded' elbow pad) 7,8,9 they both pull to
their knees and Zoolander is to his feet, he walks to Ozz, and grabs him by
the ears and nasty DDT. M.J. III is up in the air, Jack-knife, that looked
like it hurt. It looks to me like the ref is confused out of his gord. And
listen to the horror that P.S. is screaming, he is MAD......Hurricane is
running over to B.Z. and now Ozz is headed over for the pin. 1,2,3. Ozz
wins......Which is a shock to me, because I didnt think he would when this
match started, now get the medic out here and check out this man's face.
OK there they go down the isle. And straight to
the medical station I hope. And there go B.Z. and M.J. III.
In our next match of the evening, it is
supposed to be for the Hardkore title, which currently is owner-less. FaTe vs.
Confederate Cluck. But it looks like the match may have already taken place
during the last match, since the HardKore title can be won anywhere at any
time, during the weekend, Confederate Cluck Apparently attacked FaTe from behind earlier
and pounded on him for a little bit, with a ref close behind and blind-sided, Confederate
Cluck went in for the pin and won the HardKore championship. And this all
happened in less than five minutes.
***All of this took place on May
21st 2005***
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