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Hello World, I have been asked by none other
than the webmistress herself to step up and write an article this week for Cow.
"This is sort of a test run," she
said, "depending on the response depends on how often we will use your experience
on the website. But get this straight right away we will not have another El
Vaca Azul on this website. If at any time you pull the same crap that El Vaca
did you will be immediately released of your duties, and there will be no
questions asked. You have been warned, and we will not speak of this
again."
Since El Vaca was officially told that
"he/she/it" would not return to the website, the rules and
restrictions working for the website have severely increased and become a little
more harsh, but I think it is needed.
Teddy Blanchard admitted freely that he picked
up a lady of the night that turned out to be a tranny of the night, but let me
tell you, in the handful of times I have seen him, he has picked someone up just
as many times.
Teddy is a rather complicated person, and a very busy person, he seems more like
a skeevy lawyer than anything else. He is very shifty and offers no explanations
for many of the things he does. In the Arena I have seen him pee in
someone's locker. I have seen him spit in someone's food, and I have seen him
attempt to change contracts.
The latter was caught, because of the horrible mis-spellings on the
contract. And thankfully the wonderful Cowmissioner, Political Steve, has
seen to it that anymore there are two official copies of EVERY document and
contract created in Cow.
Everyone seems quite concerned with Mysterious
Mark, as he seems rather shady and "mysterious." I say there is
nothing mysterious about him, that he just doesn't want anything known about him
because he has a bad past.
There are many wrestlers with bad pasts.
Ok how many times can Bobby Zoolander the
former Male Model, look in the mirror? When he was in the Danford Arena
for a meeting on March 15th, he was sitting in the locker room while waiting to
be called in. During this time, I personally saw him look in the mirror 25 times
for at least a 1 minute span, and this all in a forty-five minute time span. But
I can report with confidence that he is doing well and near the point in which
he can get his wrestling license back.
Senor Sexxxay is not very pleased with the
fact that he and Whyno are now tied in their competition against one
another. I overheard him berating some of his employees for their poor job
in the Laser Tag and Paint Ball competition to celebrate the opening of
Las Arenas de Drunks. Senor Sexxxay wanted to rub Whyno's face in it. and
wanted to win. Of course Senor Sexxxay wanted to win, with this he would have
something over Whyno, even though the House of Sexxay is doing well, it is
nothing compared to Casa de Drunks, which is hugely successful. Sexxxay on the
other hand has had a moderate success rate with the bar, however the restaurant
with the bar is doing significantly better. Sexxxay is trying to keep it quiet
that he is not as happy as he would like with the business, though he is trying
all the time to make it better.
So everyone is so interested in talking to
Sexy Sandy and wants to know about her and Blonze, and their surprise wedding at
the stroke of Midnight on New Years Day. Anyway I haven't spoken to Sandy but
have come close a couple of times, the only thing that stopped me was that
someone else had come by and I just kept walking. I have observed Sandy and
Blonze together, and they are quite a couple. I have seen the mushy
stuff and I have seen them in serious discussion, as well as a little tiff or
two, nothing big. But everyone has a tiff now and then. Sandy and Blonze are
very good together. Despite what some people might think they are quite a team.
And they seem pretty happy. Which is what matters the most.
Everyone who is anyone is wondering why
Justice hasn't been spoken much of in the news either, well I have seen Justice
working hard, and away from Cow. He isn't the type of person to just sit back. I
have seen Justice pumping iron in the gym fighting with the people he calls
friends, around here also known as, the Formidable Six. And I have seen Justice
trying to get Political Steve to listen to reason.
Justice had his car attacked twice apparently by the same person and as I didn't
see that happen I know it was caught on tape. I have seen the tapes and was near
when Justice saw the tapes. So even though it is said he doesn't know who did
it, but is looking for them wildly, truth be known he does know, and is fiercely
looking for that person. The reason Political Steve doesn't want the name
released is because he doesn't want that controversy right now. So Justice has
taken it upon himself to find this person who seems to have disappeared.
As I know who it is, because I have seen the tapes, and upon my own discretion
have decided not to release that information.
Tea Money, Christopher Eugene and Maximillion
Johnston III are apparently in some money trouble, why, because the IRS has
served them with papers requesting them to find all of their income and tax
forms for the past 5 years. This is something I overheard before the three
walked out of hearing distance. It seems like even their high prices lawyers can
not get them out of trouble this time. Or so it seems...What's that saying?
"Everybody has a price" If they get out of this it seems like this
will be the case.
Truck is the latest inductee into the Cow-wrestling.com
Wall of Fame. And it seems that there is a Jealous COW Stars who thought
they should have been inducted first. But it is only a single person, but he was
heard yelling when it was released that Truck was the Latest Inductee. I think
Truck deserves to be the third inductee. You don't hear him complaining do you?
Anyway Congratulations Truck!
Well that is about it for my "trial
run" I have more information I could let you in on, but that will be set
forth at a different time.
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