MilkMan
Prophecies
The
Man of A Million Insults
WOW, what a show Pasteurization was! I was in attendance
for this ground breaking event, well OK, so it wasn't ground breaking,
but it still was a good show. Usually people do the rundowns to the event.
But here, I, the man of 10,001 insults am going to give you the REAL winners
and losers, also, I think that I want to rate the matches to, since I can...
I will. So here we go...WAIT A SEC. before we start, I wanna give a shout
out to Hef, I am sorry that you are still in jail while I have been paroled,
but hey I guess that's life! hehehehehe! now onto the show!
Opening match was an awesome display of sheer and utter
stupidity. I am not trying to be mean or anything (**well maybe I am a
little**) but CA Dudley what the hell were you thinking? Senor Sexxxay
and Fate retain their coveted tag titles by defeating Chubba Rae Dudley...Winners:
Sexy Fates. Losers: DUDleys. Real Winners: Senor Sexxxay
for having to put up with Fate for at least another show.
Real Losers:
CA
Dudley, just because he was in the match for all of 10 seconds. Next match!
A spot in the main event was up for grabs here, Political
Steve and Truck put on a good show, I personally wished that it could have
gone on a little longer, but oh well eh? Winner: Political Steve.
Loser:
Truck. Real Winner: Truck for putting forth a good effort and showing
why he is still one of the best in COW.
Real Loser:
I would have
to say, the commentating in this match, it clashed way too much. Good Job
Political Steve, you didn't make it on the LOSER list once this time...(**yes,
this time!**)
The Next match was a display of submissions, the new
comer Dean Malenkris and the old and very tired Whyno went head to head,
in a very bland match, I mean dot get me wrong, I like submission matches,
but yeah this one was kinda generic. Winner: Xtreme's Boy Dean Malenkris.
Loser:
The fat drunk guy that ALWAYS loses Whyno. Real Winner: Xtreme,
for keeping his faith in his students in the COW Wrestling School. Way
to go Xtreme, Dean is a keeper! Real Loser: Well that isn't hard
to say at all, Whyno, he always has been and always will be nothing but
a jobber. He had gold with the "corporate" gimmick, but that one didn't
last long.
Number one contenders for the COW tag team titles was
up here in this next match, and all i can say is WOW...The Triad rule is
in effect here still, so any 2 members of the Perfect Amount can wrestle,
and well...they did just that...Iraqi Assassin is on the road to becoming
one of my favorite characters...i wish that COW would team him with Taliban
Warrior, and then my wet dream would come true...wait...nevermind!
Winners:
Perfect Amount (Tea Money and Christopher Eugene). Losers: Iraqi
Assassin and Palestinian Prince. Real Winners: Perfect Amount for
being able to pull a Demolition/Triad angle and make it somewhat work!
Real
Losers: Iraqi Assassin's make up artist, was it me or was his mustache
coming off by the end of the match? It doesn't matter I still think that
this gimmick is GOLD!!!
And the final match, it was very odd at that! Picture
this...three men, 20 minutes, most falls win...I bet that you are saying
to yourself, damn that sounds an awful lot like an Iron Man Match...WOW,
I would then have to say you are RIGHT...hint hint! This match was pretty
impressive, considering the fact that Political Steve was in it! the guy
is funny as hell, but why have him wrestle?? (**ok so i will never have
a job again with COW...oh well!**) a total of 8 falls in this match, 4
of them went to the winner, some really weren't even falls because on rule
that COW NEVER uses WAS in effect during this match... The freakin DQ rule...
who'da thunk it? not me, thats for damn fact! Winner: New Champ:
Political Steve. Loser: Justice and Senor Sexxxay. Real Winner:
Damn it looks as though Political Steve may have another real winner, NO...the
real winners here was the commentator, he did a phenomenal job, well OK,
it is tied...PS and Commentator #267...or was he #339? hell I cant remember!
Real
Loser: I was going to say Justice, but then I felt sorry for the poor
guy, then I was going to say Senor Sexxxay, but then I realized how damn
good looking the guy is, so here, the only real loser is...ME!!!! and thats
the end of that chapter!!!!
Ratings: Match 1= 1 1/2 stars... Match
2= 2 1/2 stars... Match 3= 2 1/2 stars... Match
4= 3 stars... Match 5= 4 stars...and thats
the end!
Also I want to take this chance of saying thanks to
Jennifer, without her this website would be NOTHING! Kinda like Whyno's
career, but thats a different story for another night...Thank you! This
has been the Milkman, straight from the utter...Milk is good!
Return Past Articles
COW
Store