Past Articles
Date: April 20th, 2006 through May 22nd, 2006 Time:
9am to5 pm
Place: Danford Arena
What Happened: A Wrestler trying to get himself into
COW Wrestling has been at the Danford Arena every day for over a month trying to
protest and convince COW that he is worth taking a risk on. Hayes Rutherford
Orndorff,
claiming to be related to a famous wrestler with the same last name, has
petitioned COW to allow him to enter the COW Wrestling world. COW has done
pretty much anything to test him, and has even come forth as saying he has good
technical skills. But nothing has been certain yet as if they will hire him.
Hayes Orndorff says he will "continue to come to the Danford Arena until he
is given a straight yes or no answer." COW says, "As of right now, we
have not made any decision as to whether or not we will hire him."
Date: May 1st, 2006 Time: 10:30pm Place:
Romoland Highway
What Happened: Apparently Teddy Blanchard was allegedly arrested. We
tried to speak with Teddy Blanchard and he had "no comment"
Date: Cinco de Mayo, 2006 Time: Noonish
Place:
Las Arenas de Drunks
What Happened: Another impromptu match up between House of Sexxay and
Casa de Drunks. House of Sexxay had rented out the entire arena for the morning,
but when WhYno and some of his employees showed up at the arena around noon to
celebrate Cinco de Mayo, Sexxay became enraged and challenged WhYno to another
rematch, this time only in the paintball arena. WhYno, being rather belligerent
and in the mood for a brawl, agreed, and the two bars again went one on one.
As the battle began Frankie Foley was immediately taken out as it seemed he had
fallen asleep before the battle began. WhYno was then hunted down by many of
Sexxay's employees and then gunned down. by the paintball guns, as he was
cornered and surrounded by six people. Sexxay was the only to take the shot, and
WhYno was eliminated as four of Sexxay's employees were shot in the back by
Dangerous Dolphin right after WhYno was shot. that left the people remaining to
House of Sexxay 2 and Casa de Drunks 4. Senor Sexxay and an employee hid
as the four people from Casa de Drunks snuck around, one by one being taken out
as they moved. Senor Sexxay had climbed into a tree to get the perfect shot. Now
down to two Sexxay vs. Dangerous Dolphin, Sexxay climbed down the tree as DD was
lost in some bushes. Sexxay then spotted Dangerous Dolphin as Dangerous Dolphin
spotted Sexxay they both fired and DD missed Sexxay by a hair. And Sexxay shot
DD in the stomach for the victory. One of Sexxay's employees was heard as
celebrating, and then he said when Sexxay wasn't around, "thank goodness we
won, otherwise we wouldn't have heard the end of it, we would have gotten a
serious tongue lashing."
Sexxay was asked if this were true and he grinned and said, "get out of my
way you jealous people."
The score between the bars is now:
Casa de Drunks 2 -- House of Sexxay 2
Date: May 10th, 2006 Time: 9:15 am
Place: COW-Wrestling.com Offices
What Happened: It was announced that
Las Noticias Persiguen will be hired to the COW-Wrestling website as a
full time writer.
May 19th, 2006
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