Year In Review
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Recapping all of the BIG Stories of 2007

• January 1st, 2007
  WhYno seeking revenge on Senor Sexxxay stalked The House of Sexxxay all day long and when Sexxxay finally left WhYno then proceeded to t-p the bar. He then silly stringed the door, and then left him a little note, that said, "Pretty boy, this is only the beginning. You Cheater!"

• January 2nd, 2007
  Senor Sexxxay seeing the lovely note left for him by WhYno then walked into his bar, yelled at a few employees , walking outside with three employees, he pointed and then walked inside leaving them to clean up the mess.

• January 25th, 2007
  

  It has just been learned and I am sad to report today that we have lost a valued member of our column staff here at COW-Wrestling.com.
  
  LNP, who was employed by COW Wrestling in July of 2002 to get stories by "snooping" around, and getting the news that no one else could.
  He brought a freshness of thought to the site with his articles, and his no win situations, and no holds barred accounts of things.
  
  His first article for the site was written 20th, March 2006. He was hired to the website on a full time basis on May 10th of 2006.
  On September 11th, 2006, LNP was in a serious car wreck. And on September 13th, 2006 his condition was released "Las Noticias Persiguen has been issued as good condition in the hospital. No visitors are allowed to see him, and mainly his request. But he is doing ok. Syco Christine spoke with him, and he is looking forward to getting back into Working in COW soon. He has a broken arm, and a fractured pelvis. And had 24 stitches in his head, from where his head cracked into the windshield. The police said it was a good thing he was wearing a seatbelt.
  He was following a COW Star working on a story, but a drunk driver ran a red light and smacked into him in the middle of the intersection. And his car was totaled. It was a miracle that no one perished in the accident based on the pictures Syco Christine saw of the wreck. LNP's car was almost bent in half. "
  
  LNP was being driven to physical therapy in Denver Colorado on January 20th, where he has been staying for the past two and a half months, when the car he was a passanger in was struck by an oncoming truck, who swerved to avoid hitting a fallen tree and hit the car with LNP in it going about 55mph. The Driver of the car was thrown from the vehicle, and sustained serious injuries. LNP was unconsious and pinned in the car against the side of a mountain when a car coming around the bend struck the car he was in and set it ablaze. The driver of the truck (who was injured as well) and the driver of the third car involved in the crash tried to pull LNP from the vehicle, but were unable to. When police finally arrived on scene, They pronounced LNP dead. The driver of the truck has been brought up on charges. And the driver of the car which LNP was in, has confirmed the news to us.
  
  He had a fearless quality about him, and in the past few months was not even upset about being in a car accident. And to pass on in a second car accident seems a cruel way to go.
  
  We are deeply saddened to see such an inspired writer be taken from this world. We send our Sincere condolences to his family and friends, and those who knew him well. He will truly be missed.

• January 27th, 2007
  WhYno posted:

  sheesh man...someone had bad luck! I dont mean to sound like a sick bastard or anything, but seriously! it looks like he can finally get a better job now that he is dead though...god needs a better PR department head...i am sure he will be up for the job! RIP buddy!
  The Reamer Posted:
  Let the Reaming begin:
  I couldn't help but notice that a Truck was involved in ending the life of such a respected (if that's the right word) C.O.W. writer. When will people learn, Trucks are not to be messed with. They can't wrestle, and apparently, they can't drive (I have it on good authority that they can't shave either!). Can someone please tell me 1 single value a Truck brings to this nation (just to note, values do not include walking around with clothes that have holes in them in inappropriate areas or the ability to swallow a corn dog in one gulp without chewing!)
  Prisoner 2072 B Wrote:
  IT WAS ME, AUSTIN!!! I am the one who ran LNP down! Ha ha ha ha! I had heard of the "terrible" news of LNP's first accident, so I followed the clues to find out who this LNP REALLY was. They may say that I swerved to miss a fallen tree, but I went head on with ramming speed toward the car LNP was in.
  After the crash, I limped my way to LNP, who was smashed against the rock and tried to make out who he was through all the blood running from his head and face. Sadly, I couldn't tell who he was. And I WANT TO KNOW!!! Aaaaaahhhh!!! Whomever knows, tell the people who he really was now that he's dead! Since no one "apparently" knows who LNP REALLY was, no one should know who I am until then. Sincerely, Anonymous.

• January 27th, 2007
  Ladies and Gentleman, The messiah of Champions of Wrestling is here! The Southern Rebellion has done little or no damage since their conception, so here on out, I am going to start my own little rebellion. I am here by ending the name of Paymen and resorting back to my given name of Wood.
  The NEW Rebellion led by HAUL E.WOOD will run rampant and will crush the naysayers and since that RIGHT WING WHACK JOB Political Steve has no backing (or backbone) THE LEFT WILL RULE AGAIN! The Democratic party and the new Rebellion will seize the opportunity to destroy the Right Rebellion.
  VIVA WOOD's REBELLION!
  ~Haul E. Wood~

• February 2nd, 2007
  Haul E. Paymen says "Ladies and Gentleman...While I am here demanding that something be done with the Champions of Wrestling, the former cowmissioner Political Steve is prancing around like a NINNY posing for homoerotic pictures for a gay mans calendar. Right indeed...it just goes to show you that when it comes to Politics, and the RIGHT things, Political Steve is about as "exciting" as Michael Jackson at a twelve year old boys slumber party...wait...i misspoke, i should say "excited" PS, you should no longer be allowed to speak about what is RIGHT for this country, from here on out, you are now what is Left of this country, you are completely wrong. Goodnight, and Goodluck."

• February 26th, 2007
  "Teddy "The Northpaw" Blanchard" How's everyone doing lately? I've been doing fine here in the North. Now that I'm from the North, I declare war on the South, particularly that Poltical Steve fellow. Everyone seems to want a war, so I'm firing another shot into the mix... Haul E. Wood I haven't seen you do cr@p about Political Steve. Grow some balls (*CoughGoBallBustersCough*) and do something already you slimely hollywood weasel! And as for Political Steve, we all know he is a BIG Chicken when it comes to fighting his so called rebellion and trying to get his weak candidacy running. Come get you some Kentucky Fried Steve!

• February 28th, 2007
  Political Steve Well no surprise the REBELLION has frightened all the fellow COW superstars into declaring war well the Rebellion is ready for a war weather it is Haul E. Wood or Tully the Teddy or anyone else you want some come get some.

• February 28th, 2007
  Ladies and Gentleman, The messiah of Champions of Wrestling is here! The Southern Rebellion has done little or no damage since their conception, so here on out, I am going to start my own little rebellion. I am here by ending the name of Paymen and resorting back to my given name of Wood.
  The NEW Rebellion led by HAUL E.WOOD will run rampant and will crush the naysayers and since that RIGHT WING WHACK JOB Political Steve has no backing (or backbone) THE LEFT WILL RULE AGAIN! The Democratic party and the new Rebellion will seize the opportunity to destroy the Right Rebellion.
  VIVA WOOD's REBELLION!
  ~Haul E. Wood~

• March 20th, 2007
  A new Layout has been put underway for the COW-Wrestling.com Website, We want to know what you think. 

• March 27th, 2007
  There is an update about the death of  Las Noticias Persiguen Read it Here

• March 28th, 2007
  Hello everyone. I hope you all love the new look and feel to the COW site. I would like to say I feel Syco Christine is doing a wonderful job with the site. I love the site and like what she’s done with it. Thank you Syco Christine for all you do.
  
  Not that I acknowledge every idiot that comes on here and spews crap from his mouth about wanting to be champion, but I will give this Hesus Christo a little leeway, since he is “new” to COW. Now that, that is said, I will tell you Hesus and everyone else that wants to be the COW Heavyweight Champion, that you will have to earn it like every past champion has earned it. Well, maybe not EVERY past champion. You will have to do it the old fashioned way and… hmmm, let’s see… wrestle! Wow, that IS a new concept isn’t it? You have to work your way up and not just jack your jaw.
  
  We don’t play easy here in Champions of Wrestling. When you come on here and eject your crap about wanting a title shot, without even one C.O.W wrestling match under your belt to prove your worth, then in my opinion you insult every great past champion we have had, from The Truck to Senor Sexxxay to even myself, Justice. So, put your words into action and do something about it. Whether you or I like it or not, the Iraqi Assassin IS the current C.O.W Heavyweight Champion of the World and until he is beaten, he will remain the Champion. I have no intentions in striping the belt, even from a hating, skumbag Anti-American like the Iraqi Assassin. Enough said. Now it’s time… It’s time for these newbie’s to earn their stripes by wrestling, not conversing.
  
  Your COWmissioner, JUSTICE.

• March  28th, 2007
  WhYno, after laying low for a couple of months on his revenge on Senor Sexxxay, and he did so by challenging him to a rotten egg toss, only he didnt tell him the rotten part. When Senor Sexxxay and his employees showed up for the competition, WhYno, Frankie Foley, and Dangerous Dolphin proceeded to pelt Senor Sexxxay and his employees with the rotten eggs, as they hid in the rafters of the arena. Sexxxay who was furious agreed though, that WhYno won that battle so the battle is as follows:
  The score between the bars is now: 
  Casa de Drunks 7  -  House of Sexxay 7

• March 31st, 2007
  Bobby Zoolander working hard to maintain his sobriety and his wrestling license, has been training, and has been even sparring against COW Farm members. When asked how he is doing, he has said, "Its a struggle every day, but I am doing".....then he starts to be weird and jumps into his wrestling persona and begins to rub his hands down his body. At that point the interviewer just walked away.

• April 1st, 2007
  The Sixth Member of the COW-Wrestling.com Wall of Fame was Inducted.

• April 1st, 2007
  Truck's  truck was slammed into the walls at the Danford Arena, when someone sneaked into the truck and put it into gear as Truck was hauling things into the Danford Arena. Damages were, the Truck was totaled, and there was 300,000 dollars worth of damage to the building. The culprit was caught.

• April 15th, 2007
   Christopher Eugene and Maximillion Johnston III were indicted on tax evasion charges. While they have been fighting the IRS for a year and a half, the IRS claims that they have not paid taxes in five years.

• April 20th, 2007
  A New Wrestler has thrown his hat into the Champions of Wrestling Arena. He calls himself "The NRC" or "The National Revenue Collector" The timing of his entrance into the COW Farm League is Ironic to say the least.

• April 21st, 2007
  Senor Sexxxay embarked on two new battles, 1) Enrolling in night classes. and 2) He also is trying to purchase the building on the opposite side of his Bar.

• April 30th, 2007
  Dangerous Dolphin was checked in on again by the social workers, and COW officials that told WhYno that DD had to stay with him. Dangerous Dolphin has been declared in the past to be a danger to himself, but not to society, but under proper medication he is not a danger to himself.
  Dangerous Dolphin was certified and released from Doctors care. But is still under the care of WhYno, who is solely responsible for Dangerous Dolphins Care. Dangerous Dolphin who says he is deeply in debt to WhYno, says he is doing his best Every day.

• May 1st, 2007
  Casa de Drunks vs. House of Sexxxay once more. WhYno and Senor Sexxxay and several of their employees met up at Las Arenas de Drunks and had a tackle football game (WhYno's football field was just completed and was the only portion of Las Arenas de Drunks that was unfinished for such a  long time) Sexxxay had several very large men on his team, as well as a couple of hot women. WhYno, had Frankie Foley, Dangerous Dolphin, the boy that sweeps the floor at the bar, and the rest of the team looked like they had played football before.
  By the end of the first half The House of Sexxxay was in the lead by seven points.
  By the end of the game Casa de Drunks won 64 to 57
  The score between the bars is now: 
  Casa de Drunks 8  -  House of Sexxay 7

• May 10th, 2007
  Press Release from Syco Christine regarding the future of the website.

• May 30th, 2007
  Senor Sexxxay closed the deal on the building next door to his bar, he is now in talks with the city proposing what he wants to build in its place.

• June 5th, 2007
  New COW Chatter put up and the COW-Board was officially removed.

• June 24th, 2007
  Jaso the Stylist and Triple S, stopped by the Danford Arena to visit CA DuDley who has been working part time for the website, collecting information trying to help the office staff get organized.
  Jaso and CA said that rumors about there being a rift between Triple S and them is "So Not True." And they said they are closer than ever. All living in their three bedroom house they bought together in Sun City.

• July 4th, 2007
  Big fourth of July bash held by Rico Anderson and Teddy Blanchard that was Rudely interrupted by the N'98 Street Boyz  and Rico and Teddy were so pissed off that they proceeded to beat the snot out of Blonze and Senor Sexxxay, who tried to fight back, however they had the huge disadvantage that Rico and Teddy both had 200 friends there that wouldnt let Blonze or Senor Sexxxay get the upper hand. Rico walked away with a black eye, but that was the extent of their injuries. N'98 Street Boyz walked away (well were thrown in their SUV both holding their ribs. 
  From what the people at the website were told, both went back to Tijuana. And apparently the rift between Senor Sexxxay and Blonze is over, because Blonze spent the next three days at the House of Sexxxay.

• July 22nd, 2007
  Iraqi Assassin was seen dressed in his full wrestling attire, gun and all, walking into the Danford Arena. Behind him a small man carrying a briefcase. Iraqi Assassin barked at the man for walking so slow, then the man ran to catch up with him.
  Website Staffers tried to approach I.A. but were immediately ambushed by 4 bodyguards and the small man all telling us to back up and not approach him. Then we heard a deep voice that said something along the lines of "Ungrateful COW-website  Amer-i-can'ts." Then he laughed and walked into COWmissioner Justice's office. 
  Neither party had a comment after their meeting.

• July 31st, 2007
  Haul E. Paymen and Teddy Blanchard were seen sneaking around a dark alley talking to two women. Teddy has a past with women of ill repute. But apparently this time, they were not caught by the police, and Neither had a comment on the subject.

• August 4th, 2007
  New Shirts were put on the COW Shops to visit all of the COW Shops, Click Here

• August 18th, 2007
  The Seventh Member of the COW-Wrestling.com Wall of Fame was Inducted.

• August 20th, 2007
  While on a hunting trip, Political Steve was involved in an accident, he and his hunting friend were out in the woods, and Political Steve's gun misfired and his hunting buddy (who's name is not being released) was shot in the leg.

• August 31st, 2007
  Jaso, Triple S and C.A. Dudley got into a massive fight, and decided to all go their separate ways. Jaso is currently staying in the house the three bought together, only to prepare it for sale.
  Triple S has gone into a self-imposed Exile.
  C.A. has moved to Canada, where he is looking for a "Husband"

• September 4th, 2007
  Justice hoping for a show later this year called a meeting of the Heads of COW to decide on whether or not that would happen.

• September 18th, 2007
  Jaso listed and sold the house that he, Triple S and C.A. Dudley shared.

• September 20th, 2007
  Haul E Paymen and Teddy Blanchard are seen yet again in the company of two women but while they assured us that it was all on the up and up, they refused to comment further.

• September 28th, 2007
  Christopher Eugene and Maximillion Johnston III were investigated further in their Tax Evading case. While "the NRC" has also been seen tailing them.

• October 1st, 2007
  Senor Sexxxay's proposal to the city has been accepted and he has been approved for construction on the building he purchased.

• October 3rd, 2007
  WhYno thought that his alcohol had gone missing, turns out he wasnt at his bar, he was at his Arena.

• October 8th, 2007
  Iraqi Assassin spent the night outside the Danford Arena when he was told that he would not be able to carry a loaded weapon into the Arena. He was furious and decided he had to discuss it with the "A-Merry-Can't Cowmissioner Justice" as he put it.

• October 10th, 2007
  C.A. Dudley has been seen in Canada talking with Xtreme, and with Political Steve. P.S was there for "Business purposes only" and promptly left after his meeting.

• October 13th, 2007
  The Eighth Inductee into the COW-Wrestling.com Wall of Fame was announced. Click here to see who
   (it was also announced that the next inductee would be in Jan or Feb.)

• October 31st, 2007
  Halloween night, many of the wrestlers in and around COW can be seen dressed up and even out Trick Or Treating......WhYno dressed up as COWMissioner Justice. Frankie Foley dressed up as Political Steve, and Dangerous Dolphin decided to pretend to be Maximillion Johnston III.

• November 8th, 2007
  Taliban Warrior had his passport revoked as he tried to travel out of the country. He then proceeded to curse out security, and was told he was no longer allowed to travel out of Ontario Airport.

• November 24th through 26th, 2007
  C.A. Dudley told Political Steve and Senor Sexxxay he wanted a meeting with them about a match he wanted to propose to Justice and the MatchMakers of COW, but told them he couldnt leave Canada because of health reasons, but he would meet them at the airport, and pay for their hotel stay for the weekend.
  C.A. then met them at the airport and took them to their hotel then the next morning they had their meeting on the 25th.
  He took them out to drink that night, where both Political Steve and Senor Sexxxay got extremely hammered, While C.A. was only drinking ginger ale. They went back to the hotel, and C.A. had mentioned something about getting married to the "Right Man" Sexxxay said something to him in a slurred tone about "I am The Man", and then something about gay guys finding men. Political Steve was so wasted that he sat there playing with his fingers. Senor Sexxxay retored,  "Shoot I'd marry you, when hell freezes over, dude I dont know who would marry YOU!" C.A. got a bit perturbed and walked into the other room. Senor Sexxxay and Political Steve sat in the lobby of the hotel laughing then were asked to return to their rooms, because they were disturbing the other guests. So C.A. walked back over to them, and told the concierge that he would walk them to their rooms, still enraged at the comment made by Senor Sexxxay he got a vengeful idea, C.A. took Sexxxay and Political Steve to his house, where they drank a little more, then pretty much they both blacked out. 
  As C.A has explained it, Senor Sexxxay then made a pass at C.A.'s female roommate, and asked her to get married and said, "Nah I'm joking. Why would this playboy want to get married?!" C.A. getting more and more angry decided to take them both to a Chapel, after they both agreed, Sexxxay and Political Steve were pretty much agreeing to anything at this point. C.A. had every intention on getting the two of them married as a joke, but his joke sort of backfired in his face when Political Steve fell asleep on the Chapel's chair. With his roommate there to help hold P.S. up, C.A. got another idea, and then he married Senor Sexxxay.
  He then took them back to his house, and then the next morning took them to the airport without saying a word.....he held all of the paperwork.

• November 26th, 2007
  After getting back home to Tijuana, Senor Sexxxay said his butt really hurt, and when he went to see why he saw a tattoo on his left ass cheek, with three tiny letters CAD.. He called C.A. to ask what had happened, and C.A told him the entire story. And Senor Sexxxay was extremely pissed off, he hung up the phone and got on the next flight to Canada.

• November 26th-27th, 2007
  Senor Sexxxay arrived back in Canada late night on the 26th, checked into a hotel then went to C.A.'s home, finding him not home, he broke into the house, (which wasnt hard, the window was partially opened to begin with) and sat down on the couch until C.A. returned home. Senor Sexxxay found a not on the fridge about 2am that said CA CELL. And he called the number. CA picked up, and Senor Sexxxay yelled into the phone, "Get back to your house right now, you conniving little....." Cut off by C.A. saying, "Chillax, I'll be home soon, HUBBY." Then he hung up the phone. Sexxxay threw the phone across the room, and it hit a vase knocking it over. Then Sexxxay punched through the wall breaking the knuckles in his right hand. Using his cane (which he still uses from that brutal attack on him, especially in cooler weather) he smashed a lamp, and then pushed the cane through the wall making his fist mark in the wall a huge hole in both sides of the wall now. Sexxxay went to the Freezer and got some ice for his hand, so it wouldnt swell too much and then he sat down in the chair. As he did, he saw some lights reflecting off of the ceiling as a car pulled into the drive. Sexxxay sat there steaming. As two people approached the door. He heard C.A.'s voice and that of his female roommate. The key was put in the door, and C.A. said, "Sexxxay I know you are in there, and I see the lamp is broken, so dont hit me as soon as I come in, or I will have you arrested for trespassing." 
  C.A. then entered the house, as did the woman who also lived there. And C.A. sat down across from Senor Sexxxay and flipped on the lamp next to him...."Oh I see you did some remodeling SWEETHEART" Sexxxay's face turning cherry red with anger couldnt muster out any words. Rather he sat there gritting and grinding his teeth. They sat there for five minutes staring at each other. After five minutes, Senor Sexxxay uttered, "Why did you do this?" 
  Responding back, C.A. said, "Well first of all I found your remark about me never getting married quite rude and demeaning.. As well as the things you said to my roommate. And I wanted to get revenge on you, I was just going to have you marry Political Steve as a joke, but P.S. fell asleep in the Chapel. The reason you dont remember is probably because you were blacked out."
  "What the Fu%k?" Senor Sexxxay asked "Give me the papers now, you little......"
  "That is what started this remember, you berating me. I will show you copies of the papers, you dont get the originals, I have those in a safe place for safe keeping."
  Senor Sexxxay read the papers and saw that it was all legal and that his signature was on the papers, clear as day. As well as a contract that was quickly written up by C.A. saying if we get divorced that I get half of everything you own....unless there is a just reason.
  Senor Sexxxay ripped the papers a little, then folded them up and walked out of the door without saying a word at 3:55 in the morning.. 
  He then went to sleep at his hotel, then woke up around 8:30 went to the airport and caught whatever flight he could to California where when he arrived he went straight to his lawyers office, where his lawyer told him, "Well Sexxxay its all legit, there is nothing I or any legal person can do." 
  Senor Sexxxay, now completely infuriated, walked out of his lawyers office and hopped in his car and drove back to Tijuana. 
  Hoping nobody would find out of this, he refused to speak with anyone, however he did speak to Syco Christine only to tell her he spoke with his lawyer today about some urgent matters. And that he had no more to comment on.

• November 27th, 2007
  New items in some of the Official COW Shops. Check 'em out

• November 27th, 2007
  Site Up to date.

 

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