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Year
In Review
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Recapping all of the BIG Stories of 2007
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January 1st, 2007
WhYno seeking revenge on Senor Sexxxay stalked The House of Sexxxay all day
long and when Sexxxay finally left WhYno then proceeded to t-p the bar. He
then silly stringed the door, and then left him a little note, that said, "Pretty
boy, this is only the beginning. You Cheater!"
-
January 2nd, 2007
Senor Sexxxay seeing the lovely note left for him by WhYno then walked into
his bar, yelled at a few employees , walking outside with three employees,
he pointed and then walked inside leaving them to clean up the mess.
-
January 25th, 2007
It has just been learned and I am sad to report today that we have lost a
valued member of our column staff here at COW-Wrestling.com.
LNP, who was employed by COW Wrestling in July of 2002 to get stories by
"snooping" around, and getting the news that no one else could.
He brought a freshness of thought to the site with his articles, and his
no win situations, and no holds barred accounts of things.
His first article for the site was written 20th, March 2006. He was hired
to the website on a full time basis on May 10th of 2006.
On September 11th, 2006, LNP was in a serious car wreck. And on September
13th, 2006 his condition was released "Las Noticias Persiguen has
been issued as good condition in the hospital. No visitors are allowed to
see him, and mainly his request. But he is doing ok. Syco Christine spoke
with him, and he is looking forward to getting back into Working in COW
soon. He has a broken arm, and a fractured pelvis. And had 24 stitches in
his head, from where his head cracked into the windshield. The police said
it was a good thing he was wearing a seatbelt.
He was following a COW Star working on a story, but a drunk driver ran a
red light and smacked into him in the middle of the intersection. And his
car was totaled. It was a miracle that no one perished in the accident
based on the pictures Syco Christine saw of the wreck. LNP's car was
almost bent in half. "
LNP was being driven to physical therapy in Denver Colorado on January
20th, where he has been staying for the past two and a half months, when
the car he was a passanger in was struck by an oncoming truck, who swerved
to avoid hitting a fallen tree and hit the car with LNP in it going about
55mph. The Driver of the car was thrown from the vehicle, and sustained
serious injuries. LNP was unconsious and pinned in the car against the
side of a mountain when a car coming around the bend struck the car he was
in and set it ablaze. The driver of the truck (who was injured as well)
and the driver of the third car involved in the crash tried to pull LNP
from the vehicle, but were unable to. When police finally arrived on
scene, They pronounced LNP dead. The driver of the truck has been brought
up on charges. And the driver of the car which LNP was in, has confirmed
the news to us.
He had a fearless quality about him, and in the past few months was not
even upset about being in a car accident. And to pass on in a second car
accident seems a cruel way to go.
We are deeply saddened to see such an inspired writer be taken from this
world. We send our Sincere condolences to his family and friends, and
those who knew him well. He will truly be missed.
-
January 27th, 2007
WhYno posted:
sheesh man...someone had bad luck! I dont mean to sound like a sick
bastard or anything, but seriously! it looks like he can finally get a
better job now that he is dead though...god needs a better PR department
head...i am sure he will be up for the job! RIP buddy!
The Reamer Posted:
Let the Reaming begin:
I couldn't help but notice that a Truck was involved in ending the
life of such a respected (if that's the right word) C.O.W. writer. When
will people learn, Trucks are not to be messed with. They can't wrestle,
and apparently, they can't drive (I have it on good authority that they
can't shave either!). Can someone please tell me 1 single value a Truck
brings to this nation (just to note, values do not include walking
around with clothes that have holes in them in inappropriate areas or
the ability to swallow a corn dog in one gulp without chewing!)
Prisoner 2072 B Wrote:
IT WAS ME, AUSTIN!!! I am the one who ran LNP down! Ha ha ha ha! I had
heard of the "terrible" news of LNP's first accident, so I
followed the clues to find out who this LNP REALLY was. They may say
that I swerved to miss a fallen tree, but I went head on with ramming
speed toward the car LNP was in.
After the crash, I limped my way to LNP, who was smashed against the
rock and tried to make out who he was through all the blood running from
his head and face. Sadly, I couldn't tell who he was. And I WANT TO
KNOW!!! Aaaaaahhhh!!! Whomever knows, tell the people who he really was
now that he's dead! Since no one "apparently" knows who LNP
REALLY was, no one should know who I am until then. Sincerely,
Anonymous.
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January 27th, 2007
Ladies and Gentleman, The messiah of Champions of Wrestling is here! The
Southern Rebellion has done little or no damage since their conception, so
here on out, I am going to start my own little rebellion. I am here by
ending the name of Paymen and resorting back to my given name of Wood.
The NEW Rebellion led by HAUL E.WOOD will run rampant and will crush the
naysayers and since that RIGHT WING WHACK JOB Political Steve has no
backing (or backbone) THE LEFT WILL RULE AGAIN! The Democratic party and
the new Rebellion will seize the opportunity to destroy the Right
Rebellion.
VIVA WOOD's REBELLION!
~Haul E. Wood~
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February 2nd, 2007
Haul E. Paymen says "Ladies and Gentleman...While I am here demanding
that something be done with the Champions of Wrestling, the former
cowmissioner Political Steve is prancing around like a NINNY posing for
homoerotic pictures for a gay mans calendar. Right indeed...it just goes to
show you that when it comes to Politics, and the RIGHT things, Political
Steve is about as "exciting" as Michael Jackson at a twelve year
old boys slumber party...wait...i misspoke, i should say "excited"
PS, you should no longer be allowed to speak about what is RIGHT for this
country, from here on out, you are now what is Left of this country, you are
completely wrong. Goodnight, and Goodluck."
-
February 26th, 2007
"Teddy "The Northpaw"
Blanchard" How's everyone doing lately? I've been doing fine
here in the North. Now that I'm from the North, I declare war on the South,
particularly that Poltical Steve fellow. Everyone seems to want a war, so
I'm firing another shot into the mix... Haul E. Wood I haven't seen you do
cr@p about Political Steve. Grow some balls (*CoughGoBallBustersCough*) and
do something already you slimely hollywood weasel! And as for Political
Steve, we all know he is a BIG Chicken when it comes to fighting his so
called rebellion and trying to get his weak candidacy running. Come get you
some Kentucky Fried Steve!
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February 28th, 2007
Political Steve Well no surprise the REBELLION has frightened all the fellow COW superstars
into declaring war well the Rebellion is ready for a war weather it is
Haul E. Wood or Tully the Teddy or anyone else you want some come get
some.
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February 28th, 2007
Ladies and Gentleman, The messiah of Champions of Wrestling is here! The
Southern Rebellion has done little or no damage since their conception, so
here on out, I am going to start my own little rebellion. I am here by
ending the name of Paymen and resorting back to my given name of Wood.
The NEW Rebellion led by HAUL E.WOOD will run rampant and will crush the
naysayers and since that RIGHT WING WHACK JOB Political Steve has no
backing (or backbone) THE LEFT WILL RULE AGAIN! The Democratic party and
the new Rebellion will seize the opportunity to destroy the Right
Rebellion.
VIVA WOOD's REBELLION!
~Haul E. Wood~
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March 20th, 2007 A new Layout has been put underway for the COW-Wrestling.com
Website, We want to know what you think.
-
March 27th, 2007
There is an update about the death of Las Noticias Persiguen Read
it Here
-
March 28th, 2007
Hello everyone. I hope you all love the new look and feel to the COW site.
I would like to say I feel Syco Christine is doing a wonderful job with
the site. I love the site and like what she’s done with it. Thank you
Syco Christine for all you do.
Not that I acknowledge every idiot that comes on here and spews crap from
his mouth about wanting to be champion, but I will give this Hesus Christo
a little leeway, since he is “new” to COW. Now that, that is said, I
will tell you Hesus and everyone else that wants to be the COW Heavyweight
Champion, that you will have to earn it like every past champion has
earned it. Well, maybe not EVERY past champion. You will have to do it the
old fashioned way and… hmmm, let’s see… wrestle! Wow, that IS a new
concept isn’t it? You have to work your way up and not just jack your
jaw.
We don’t play easy here in Champions of Wrestling. When you come on here
and eject your crap about wanting a title shot, without even one C.O.W
wrestling match under your belt to prove your worth, then in my opinion
you insult every great past champion we have had, from The Truck to Senor
Sexxxay to even myself, Justice. So, put your words into action and do
something about it. Whether you or I like it or not, the Iraqi Assassin IS
the current C.O.W Heavyweight Champion of the World and until he is
beaten, he will remain the Champion. I have no intentions in striping the
belt, even from a hating, skumbag Anti-American like the Iraqi Assassin.
Enough said. Now it’s time… It’s time for these newbie’s to earn
their stripes by wrestling, not conversing.
Your COWmissioner, JUSTICE.
-
March 28th, 2007
WhYno, after laying low for a couple of months on his revenge on Senor
Sexxxay, and he did so by challenging him to a rotten egg toss, only he
didnt tell him the rotten part. When Senor Sexxxay and his employees showed
up for the competition, WhYno, Frankie Foley, and Dangerous Dolphin
proceeded to pelt Senor Sexxxay and his employees with the rotten eggs, as
they hid in the rafters of the arena. Sexxxay who was furious agreed though,
that WhYno won that battle so the battle is as follows:
The score between the bars is now:
Casa de Drunks 7 - House of Sexxay 7
-
March 31st, 2007
Bobby Zoolander working hard to maintain his sobriety and his wrestling
license, has been training, and has been even sparring against COW Farm
members. When asked how he is doing, he has said, "Its a struggle every
day, but I am doing".....then he starts to be weird and jumps into his
wrestling persona and begins to rub his hands down his body. At that point
the interviewer just walked away.
-
April 1st, 2007
The Sixth Member of the COW-Wrestling.com
Wall of Fame was Inducted.
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April 1st, 2007
Truck's truck was slammed into the walls at the Danford Arena, when
someone sneaked into the truck and put it into gear as Truck was hauling
things into the Danford Arena. Damages were, the Truck was totaled, and
there was 300,000 dollars worth of damage to the building. The culprit was
caught.
-
April 15th, 2007
Christopher Eugene and Maximillion Johnston III were indicted on
tax evasion charges. While they have been fighting the IRS for a year and a
half, the IRS claims that they have not paid taxes in five years.
-
April 20th, 2007
A New Wrestler has thrown his hat into the Champions of Wrestling Arena. He
calls himself "The NRC" or "The National Revenue
Collector" The timing of his entrance into the COW Farm League is
Ironic to say the least. -
April 21st, 2007
Senor Sexxxay embarked on two new battles, 1) Enrolling in night
classes. and 2) He also is trying to purchase the building on the
opposite side of his Bar. -
April 30th, 2007
Dangerous Dolphin was checked in on again by the social workers, and COW
officials that told WhYno that DD had to stay with him. Dangerous Dolphin
has been declared in the past to be a danger to himself, but not to society,
but under proper medication he is not a danger to himself.
Dangerous Dolphin was certified and released from Doctors care. But is still
under the care of WhYno, who is solely responsible for Dangerous Dolphins
Care. Dangerous Dolphin who says he is deeply in debt to WhYno, says he is
doing his best Every day. -
May 1st, 2007
Casa de Drunks vs. House of Sexxxay once more. WhYno and Senor Sexxxay
and several of their employees met up at Las Arenas de Drunks and had a
tackle football game (WhYno's football field was just completed and was the
only portion of Las Arenas de Drunks that was unfinished for such
a long time) Sexxxay had several very large men on his team, as well
as a couple of hot women. WhYno, had Frankie Foley, Dangerous Dolphin, the
boy that sweeps the floor at the bar, and the rest of the team looked like
they had played football before.
By the end of the first half The House of Sexxxay was in the lead by seven
points.
By the end of the game Casa de Drunks won 64 to 57
The score between the bars is now:
Casa de Drunks 8 - House of Sexxay 7
-
May 10th, 2007
Press Release
from Syco Christine regarding the future of the website.
-
May 30th, 2007
Senor Sexxxay closed the deal on the building next door to his bar, he
is now in talks with the city proposing what he wants to build in its
place.
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June
5th, 2007
New COW Chatter put up and the COW-Board was officially removed.
-
June 24th, 2007
Jaso the Stylist and Triple S, stopped by the Danford Arena to visit CA
DuDley who has been working part time for the website, collecting
information trying to help the office staff get organized.
Jaso and CA said that rumors about there being a rift between Triple S
and them is "So Not True." And they said they are closer than
ever. All living in their three bedroom house they bought together in
Sun City.
-
July 4th, 2007
Big fourth of July bash held by Rico Anderson and Teddy Blanchard that
was Rudely interrupted by the N'98 Street Boyz
and Rico and Teddy were so pissed off that they proceeded to beat the snot
out of Blonze and Senor Sexxxay, who tried to fight back, however they had
the huge disadvantage that Rico and Teddy both had 200 friends there that
wouldnt let Blonze or Senor Sexxxay get the upper hand. Rico walked away
with a black eye, but that was the extent of their injuries. N'98 Street
Boyz walked away (well were thrown in their SUV both holding their
ribs.
From what the people at the website were told, both went back to Tijuana.
And apparently the rift between Senor Sexxxay and Blonze is over, because
Blonze spent the next three days at the House of Sexxxay.
-
July 22nd, 2007
Iraqi Assassin was seen dressed in his full wrestling attire, gun and
all, walking into the Danford Arena. Behind him a small man carrying a
briefcase. Iraqi Assassin barked at the man for walking so slow, then
the man ran to catch up with him.
Website Staffers tried to approach I.A. but were immediately ambushed by
4 bodyguards and the small man all telling us to back up and not
approach him. Then we heard a deep voice that said something along the
lines of "Ungrateful COW-website Amer-i-can'ts." Then he
laughed and walked into COWmissioner Justice's office.
Neither party had a comment after their meeting.
-
July 31st, 2007
Haul E. Paymen and Teddy Blanchard were seen sneaking around a dark
alley talking to two women. Teddy has a past with women of ill repute. But
apparently this time, they were not caught by the police, and Neither had
a comment on the subject.
-
August
4th, 2007
New Shirts were put on the COW Shops to visit all of the COW Shops, Click
Here
-
August
18th, 2007
The Seventh Member of the COW-Wrestling.com
Wall of Fame was Inducted.
-
August 20th, 2007
While on a hunting trip, Political Steve was involved in an
accident, he and his hunting friend were out in the woods, and
Political Steve's gun misfired and his hunting buddy (who's name is
not being released) was shot in the leg.
-
August 31st, 2007
Jaso, Triple S and C.A. Dudley got into a massive fight, and
decided to all go their separate ways. Jaso is currently staying
in the house the three bought together, only to prepare it for
sale.
Triple S has gone into a self-imposed Exile.
C.A. has moved to Canada, where he is looking for a
"Husband"
-
September 4th, 2007
Justice hoping for a show later this year called a
meeting of the Heads of COW to decide on whether or
not that would happen.
-
September 18th, 2007
Jaso listed and sold the house that he, Triple S and C.A. Dudley
shared.
-
September 20th, 2007
Haul E Paymen and Teddy Blanchard are seen yet again
in the company of two women but while they assured us
that it was all on the up and up, they refused to
comment further.
-
September 28th, 2007
Christopher Eugene and Maximillion Johnston III were investigated
further in their Tax Evading case. While "the NRC" has
also been seen tailing them.
-
October 1st, 2007
Senor Sexxxay's proposal to the city has been accepted
and he has been approved for construction on the
building he purchased.
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October 3rd, 2007
WhYno thought that his alcohol had gone missing, turns out he
wasnt at his bar, he was at his Arena.
-
October 8th, 2007
Iraqi Assassin spent the night outside the Danford
Arena when he was told that he would not be able to
carry a loaded weapon into the Arena. He was furious
and decided he had to discuss it with the
"A-Merry-Can't Cowmissioner Justice" as he
put it.
-
October 10th, 2007
C.A. Dudley has been seen in Canada talking with Xtreme, and with
Political Steve. P.S was there for "Business purposes
only" and promptly left after his meeting.
-
October 13th, 2007
The Eighth Inductee into the COW-Wrestling.com Wall of
Fame was announced. Click
here to see who
(it was also announced that the next inductee
would be in Jan or Feb.)
-
October 31st, 2007
Halloween night, many of the wrestlers in and around COW can be
seen dressed up and even out Trick Or Treating......WhYno dressed
up as COWMissioner Justice. Frankie Foley dressed up as Political
Steve, and Dangerous Dolphin decided to pretend to be Maximillion
Johnston III.
-
November 8th, 2007
Taliban Warrior had his passport revoked as he tried to travel
out of the country. He then proceeded to curse out security, and
was told he was no longer allowed to travel out of Ontario
Airport.
-
November 24th through 26th, 2007
C.A. Dudley told Political Steve and Senor Sexxxay he wanted a
meeting with them about a match he wanted to propose to Justice and
the MatchMakers of COW, but told them he couldnt leave Canada
because of health reasons, but he would meet them at the airport,
and pay for their hotel stay for the weekend.
C.A. then met them at the airport and took them to their hotel then
the next morning they had their meeting on the 25th.
He took them out to drink that night, where both Political Steve and
Senor Sexxxay got extremely hammered, While C.A. was only drinking
ginger ale. They went back to the hotel, and C.A. had mentioned
something about getting married to the "Right Man" Sexxxay
said something to him in a slurred tone about "I am The
Man", and then something about gay guys finding men. Political
Steve was so wasted that he sat there playing with his fingers.
Senor Sexxxay retored, "Shoot I'd marry you, when hell
freezes over, dude I dont know who would marry YOU!" C.A. got a
bit perturbed and walked into the other room. Senor Sexxxay and
Political Steve sat in the lobby of the hotel laughing then were
asked to return to their rooms, because they were disturbing the
other guests. So C.A. walked back over to them, and told the
concierge that he would walk them to their rooms, still enraged at
the comment made by Senor Sexxxay he got a vengeful idea, C.A. took
Sexxxay and Political Steve to his house, where they drank a little
more, then pretty much they both blacked out.
As C.A has explained it, Senor Sexxxay then made a pass at C.A.'s
female roommate, and asked her to get married and said, "Nah
I'm joking. Why would this playboy want to get married?!" C.A.
getting more and more angry decided to take them both to a Chapel,
after they both agreed, Sexxxay and Political Steve were pretty much
agreeing to anything at this point. C.A. had every intention on getting the two of them married as a joke,
but his joke sort of backfired in his face when Political Steve fell
asleep on the Chapel's chair. With his roommate there to help hold
P.S. up, C.A. got another idea, and then he married Senor Sexxxay.
He then took them back to his house, and then the next morning took
them to the airport without saying a word.....he held all of the
paperwork.
-
November 26th, 2007
After getting back home to Tijuana, Senor
Sexxxay said his butt really hurt, and when he went to
see why he saw a tattoo on his left ass cheek, with three tiny letters CAD..
He called C.A. to ask what had happened,
and C.A told him the entire story. And
Senor Sexxxay was extremely pissed off, he
hung up the phone and got on the next
flight to Canada.
-
November 26th-27th, 2007
Senor Sexxxay arrived back in Canada late night on the 26th,
checked into a hotel then went to C.A.'s home, finding him not
home, he broke into the house, (which wasnt hard, the window was
partially opened to begin with) and sat down on the couch until
C.A. returned home. Senor Sexxxay found a not on the fridge about
2am that said CA CELL. And he called the number. CA picked up, and
Senor Sexxxay yelled into the phone, "Get back to your house
right now, you conniving little....." Cut off by C.A. saying,
"Chillax, I'll be home soon, HUBBY." Then he hung up the
phone. Sexxxay threw the phone across the room, and it hit a vase
knocking it over. Then Sexxxay punched through the wall breaking
the knuckles in his right hand. Using his cane (which he still
uses from that brutal attack on him, especially in cooler weather)
he smashed a lamp, and then pushed the cane through the wall
making his fist mark in the wall a huge hole in both sides of the
wall now. Sexxxay went to the Freezer and got some ice for his
hand, so it wouldnt swell too much and then he sat down in the
chair. As he did, he saw some lights reflecting off of the ceiling
as a car pulled into the drive. Sexxxay sat there steaming. As two
people approached the door. He heard C.A.'s voice and that of his
female roommate. The key was put in the door, and C.A. said,
"Sexxxay I know you are in there, and I see the lamp is
broken, so dont hit me as soon as I come in, or I will have you
arrested for trespassing."
C.A. then entered the house, as did the woman who also lived
there. And C.A. sat down across from Senor Sexxxay and flipped on
the lamp next to him...."Oh I see you did some remodeling
SWEETHEART" Sexxxay's face turning cherry red with anger
couldnt muster out any words. Rather he sat there gritting and
grinding his teeth. They sat there for five minutes staring at
each other. After five minutes, Senor Sexxxay uttered, "Why
did you do this?"
Responding back, C.A. said, "Well first of all I found your
remark about me never getting married quite rude and demeaning..
As well as the things you said to my roommate. And I wanted to get
revenge on you, I was just going to have you marry Political Steve
as a joke, but P.S. fell asleep in the Chapel. The reason you dont
remember is probably because you were blacked out."
"What the Fu%k?" Senor Sexxxay asked "Give me the
papers now, you little......"
"That is what started this remember, you berating me. I will
show you copies of the papers, you dont get the originals, I have
those in a safe place for safe keeping."
Senor Sexxxay read the papers and saw that it was all legal and
that his signature was on the papers, clear as day. As well as a
contract that was quickly written up by C.A. saying if we get
divorced that I get half of everything you own....unless there is
a just reason.
Senor Sexxxay ripped the papers a little, then folded them up and
walked out of the door without saying a word at 3:55 in the
morning..
He then went to sleep at his hotel, then woke up around 8:30 went
to the airport and caught whatever flight he could to California
where when he arrived he went straight to his lawyers office,
where his lawyer told him, "Well Sexxxay its all legit, there
is nothing I or any legal person can do."
Senor Sexxxay, now completely infuriated, walked out of his
lawyers office and hopped in his car and drove back to
Tijuana.
Hoping nobody would find out of this, he refused to speak with
anyone, however he did speak to Syco Christine only to tell her he
spoke with his lawyer today about some urgent matters. And that he
had no more to comment on.
-
November 27th, 2007
New items in some of the Official COW Shops. Check 'em out
-
November 27th, 2007
Site Up to date.
|
The Latest Inductee into the
COW-Wrestling.com Wall
Of Fame has been named.
Inducted June 24th, 2008
|
Champions of Wrestling is Located in the
Danford Arena. In Southern California
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COWMissioner Justice
Probably one of the most beloved COWMissioners in the history of COW, and
likely the most stern.
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Iraqi Assassin
Title Holder Since:
April 10, 2005
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The Ball Busters
Title Holders Since:
March 27th, 2005
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Title Currently Defunct.
Last Champion on Record: WhYno
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Always your place to get all of
the Latest in COW-Wrestling News, and Website news.
Still the
place to go and always the place to be.
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